How to Know When to End Things


Learning to be at home with yourself in the uncertain moments is the highest achievement you can accomplish in this lifetime. Endings are a thing, even a place, where you are guaranteed a workout in uncertainty. Some of us avoid endings, and some of us welcome them. The thrill seekers choose endings regularly, while most of us don’t particularly seek them out.

If you’ve worked with me you will hear me say, “How you end or finish things is more important than how you begin them.” It’s true in the sense that your true character shows up in the endings—and also how much you need to grow becomes apparent in the endings.

This weekend was the final Empowered Author’s Academy and everyone asked why I would end something that was so beautiful, transformative, and impactful and I honestly have to say, I didn’t know. I just knew it was the end. Does that scare me? Yep, a little. Do I welcome being with myself in that fear? Yes, I like to examine my fear of the unknown often. Do I want to see what else I’m capable of creating—yes, that is the biggest aspect of endings I cherish—the means to finding growth. Endings offer us growth, so why do we avoid them?

I’m ending a lot of things these days. Ending my frustration with things I can’t change. Ending my contracts with clients to make room for what’s yet unknown. Ending my desire to control my teenaged son. Ending some bad habits like texting during weekends and dinner time (I know, jeez, you’d think I’d know better. Mia has pointed out that it’s hurting her time with me), and generally creating clearer boundaries on all fronts.

Why now? Because it’s being demanded of me. And you may feel the same way. You may feel the need to say no more often, to shut out the noise, to say how you really feel—even if it means the end of things as you know them. I’m even ending my subscriptions to HULU, HBO GO, and a lot of other things in the midst of ending bigger things. I am ending my email subscriptions to many people who just don’t inspire me but I felt “bad” for clicking unsubscribe. I am just letting that sh*t go. (And can someone please tell Brendan Burchard that when someone unsubscribes he needs to stop emailing?)

I’m ending the idea I have to save people from their ignorance. That’s a big one. Because who am I to think I have that much power anyway? Ha. I bet the angels laugh at all the things we think we are capable of controlling 🙂

And a couple days ago, as the universe is prone to do, I received the answer as to why ending Empowered Author’s Academy and some of these other projects was important or even needed.

My friend Nick, who is the creative director of “The Secret”, stopped me outside my office door to say hi. He’d been traveling all summer and it was our first hug in months. He said, “I know why you’re ending Author’s Academy.”

Bemused, I asked, “Why?”

“Because then you can have a comeback,” his eyes sparkled.
You can’t have a comeback, an encore, without an ending.”

Wow. Yep. That one got me. As if my guardian angel whispered it in his ear.

It’s time for an encore. A respite, so we can come back stronger, better. But things have to end first.

What do you want or what are you willing to end in order to return later as a better, brighter, bigger, shinier version of you?

What ending are you putting off?
Or better yet:
What gorgeous comeback are you putting off?

What if you just knew the payoff would be better, brighter, and more sparkly than the ending?

What is filling your mind, heart and psyche up so there can’t be room for your delicious rebirth?

Here’s to making beautiful endings, so you can have a “comeback” an encore, a new version of you emerging for the world to see and celebrate with you?

I look forward to hearing what you are ending, finishing, completing…in the comments!

Here’s to your rebirth,