My husband and I have been married for 8+ years. Together for 10+. We have a 4-year old together, and he has helped me raise my son, since my son was our daughter’s age. I never thought finding a man who would be comfortable with my ferocity for freedom would be possible until I met one who valued his just as much as mine. In the beginning, we had power struggles, now we have tea time. Here are some ways to use tea as a means to improving intimacy with your mate.

1. Mornings are just better together. Gerard gets up before me to do his Kriya meditation. He leaves the house, goes out to his office and meditates. I wake up in the house, at least an hour before the kids, make my tea and do my meditation. Then, Gerard comes back into the house and we have a second cup together, still before kids are up. This second cup together is our time to sit and watch the sunrise, listen to the birds, talk about what we are grateful for, and start the day with appreciation together. Although we spend the first cup on our personal spirituality, we spend our second in union. We work hard not to jump into logistics, but to share spirit, talk about dreams, express our sensitive aspirations. Our experience has shown that it’s not a time to talk business or kids, but to talk about our sacred inner lives, which gives voice to them and a stronger bond to us.

2. When we miss tea time, we tend to miss moments to appreciate one another throughout the day. Tea time has become as crucial to our relationship as sex. Why? Because it’s the sacred time we have to share what is NOT in the realm of logistics. Marriage with kids tends to become busy, and busy tends to forget intimacy. Who’s taking Sage to soccer? Will you be home to help get dinner ready? Did the bookkeeper pay that bill or did you pay so-and-so? It ends up being very tactical and not sexy at all. We have noticed that tea time is time carved out for the sacred in us and each other, to talk of dreams, inner secrets, longings–not whether or not summer camp schedule will work with work schedule. We refrain from the business of life for this small sacred cup and we thrive for it.

3. Tea time rituals gives us permission to be dreamers and friends, in a healthy way. Coffee tends to make us move fast, I always say, “Coffee gives me courage, but tea sustains me.” When Gerard and I have coffee, we usually get too revved up to go deep. We feel ambitious from coffee, while tea gives us quiet calm energy. Tea has a different form of caffeine than coffee, and it increases calm focus in the brain due to its high levels of L-Theanine, an amino acid proven to give the brain calm focus. So, coffee is reserved for when we are under tough deadlines or have a big project, but rarely would we drink it together. I’ve noticed it makes me anxious and that tea makes me energized in a more even-keel way that drives us closer.

Tea has not only increased our intimacy, but it has built a bridge between our hearts in new ways. One cup takes about 20 minutes to sip in our house, because we use big mugs for our breakfast tea, and that 20 minutes is reserved for sharing our inner lives with one another. Setting an intention to have tea together and not talk about anything but our soul’s journeys has made our bond stronger and more resilient. It has given us time to be instead of do. It has also made our dreams come true, in the sense that we are cued into one another’s greater aspirations because we’ve made time to share them–not allowing logistics to drown them out. I truly hope this post helps you to create or rediscover a ritual with your lover that will increase your appreciation for one another, your health and your happiness. Remember to make time for the sacred in one another, and cherish it. I’d love to hear your rituals with your mate in the comments below–I learn so much from you.

With Love, Zhena

Dear Beloveds,
If you are feeling as if you are running from one stressful situation to another, you may be in the hold of ego. I get it, as an ambitious woman on a mission to change the world, I get that way myself and need to reboot my spiritual GPS every morning with my sadhana (discipline–aka my meditation). Part of my daily discipline is to make a cup of tea before the kids are up, read spiritual texts, reflect on them, journal about them and then do my meditation. Today, I was feeling particularly anxious about my book launch (it’s in less than 3 weeks), and the list of to-do’s to keep my children, career, household and body on track. I opened a Kriya Yoga text by M. Govindan and Jan Ahlund and tapped spiritual gold. Here’s a summary of what I found that can serve you when you are feeling stressed, impatient and in need of some soul TLC. Disclaimer: this is my own interpretation, their’s is much more elegant 🙂

Step #1 Check your desires: Desires for things (car, bigger twitter following, better butt, NYT Bestseller status) are all ego-based. Your ego is a tyrant. Think of your ego as the Donald Trump who cares more about his next skyscraper than your soul’s wellbeing, except he’s stuck inside of you, driving you to do things for the sake of…well, no sake, just an unconscious, insatiable desire to win, own, be hot, gain power, and triumph. I have this, and so do you. The level of control we have over our tyrannical inner DT is directly proportionate to how much we cultivate the why of our lives.
Step #2 Ask Why: Why do you want what you want? I felt a huge impulse to want a Tesla the other day (I mean, could a car be any sexier?!) and then my husband said, “Why?” And I couldn’t answer him. As we cruised down the road in our 2006 Prius, I couldn’t say it was for the environment (although…) and I couldn’t say it was for the kids…then I said, “Because it’s sexy, fast and I bet can take turns way better than our Prius, poor Prius, have you seen the mileage?!” But none of those reasons were compelling enough and soon the desire to go out and find a way to get a Tesla was gone and we were happily driving to the Zoo with Mia dozing in the backseat. I remained happy, without the Tesla. You see, the ego always wants what is outside of your soul, it always drives you to desire something you don’t have within you, something material, and then when you don’t get it, you are forced into being unhappy, again. The ego doesn’t understand that true joy and abundance is within us at all times. The garden of Eden isn’t on a yacht, it’s in our soul (cool if your soul happens to be on a yacht!). But the ego is a strong-willed child of desire, and you need to train it so it doesn’t run your life. So, when you feel a desire to want something, ask the big WHY? You’ll find the answer to why may be the ego’s shallow desire to keep up with the Kardashians or some other random, meaningless tyranny that is keeping you from total inner peace and joy.
Step #3 Cultivate your Aspirations: Aspirations are the conscious versions of your desires. Each time you feel the desire for that Tesla, that bigger house, that next possession, instead move toward aspiration. Aspiration is the opposite of desire. It’s the Antidote, the cure for ego. The ego desires to be separate from others, to be special and better, to move away and be exclusive, but aspirations are yearnings from within your soul that are reaching for connection, oneness, Divinity, love, and purity of your mind and heart. While the ego drives intimacy away, aspiration draws it near. You will still have to work for your aspirations, but that work will be inner work, gracious and without the level of anxiety and stress that comes from reaching for an outer ego-desire that can never sate your real hunger for meaning. Aspirations are our true work here on the planet. Aspiring creates beauty, and it cultivates your being to help, serve, unify and love–which are the actual means of happiness.
Step #4 Avoid Impatience: The authors of this particular book (Kriya Yoga: Insights along the path) nailed one of the greatest truths with this point and I don’t need to rewrite it in my words, here’s what they wrote: “Avoid impatience, it only brings doubt, unworthiness, or rebellion.” I can see this being a great tip for parenting as well, it seems the more I rush my kids the more they dig in their darling heels. Being impatient with yourself and others is another form or your ego’s tyranny. This is a great mantra to offset your impatience: All love, energy, results and satisfactions come effortlessly through my patience.
Step #5 Be the Witness: Spend time each day watching life happening around you from the “God seat.” Breathe, watch, avoid judging and just observe with an equanimous mind what is happening around you. Be the witness and see the beauty and joy all around you. Even if you’re in a bad situation, by seeing the world from the “God seat” you will be able to find the beauty, or at least find the door that leads to a better life of beauty and peace.

I hope these steps will open your mind and heart to the great You that we all love and adore. I look forward to your responses below, conversing with you is an aspiration I have and I love hearing your ideas and insights.

With Love,
Zhena

Dear Beloved,

I’ve been buried in my computer with my pending book launch for Life by the Cup, but thank God I answered when Cynthia Kersey (www.Unstoppable.net) called and asked me to take Bob Proctor’s place on her panel: Skyrocket your business by being a force for good. I was in great company with Shiza Shahid, the cofounder of the Malala Fund (www.Malala.org) and Martha Adams, the senior producer of the life-changing, world-changing movie Girl Rising (www.Girlrising.com). And since I was crashing at my soul-sister’s house that night, we lasso’d her into the panel too as an executive voice (Kathy Twells–CocaCola).

When women gather, magic occurs. I could literally feel the room fill with light as each woman entered and took her seat for our panel. When Cynthia asked the audience, “How many of you would like to heal and change the world with your business?” 100% of the hands shot up. Beaming faces, open hearts and excitement filled the room.

Shiza spoke about Malala and her fight for education amidst Taliban rule in Pakistan. If you don’t know her story, the Taliban shot Malala in the head on a bus, for being a voice-full advocate for girls’ education, and she survived. In only 18 months, she not only survived the massive head wound, but she re-started school in London, wrote a book about the experience (I am Malala–get it!), forgave her attackers, started a nonprofit fund for educating girls globally and is now nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. She refused to let fear overcome her and she is now a beacon for every girl and woman on the planet to get an education–our birthright. Shiza was her mentor in Pakistan and returned to help her when this happened, she left the world of finance to start the Malala Fund with Malala.

Next, Martha Adams spoke about the movement and film: Girl Rising. Educating girls can end the cycle of poverty in one generation. The movie has been seen by millions of people, and the point is to break down the barriers to girls’ education globally because when a girl is educated, she is less likely to suffer from forced youth marriage, gender-based violence and sex trafficking. Boys do not have the same barriers in many countries, and if you educate a girl, you educate everyone around her–parents, children, villages.

I spoke about my experiences with Sage, the tea workers who make $1.35 a day and how the benefits of fair trade can not only end poverty but will if more companies embrace it. I said a lot more (you know by now I have a LOT to say 🙂 but the gist of it was that with a mission to serve, you cannot fail, so serve and your business will inevitably succeed.

The major takeaways, that you can apply to your own life and business are these:
1. Let your voice be heard. Malala spoke up, she suffered a major attack, but now is the light that millions of girls get to see their path to education by. Malala’s courage is now the inspiration for nations, companies and communities to ensure girls’ education is a given, not an exception.
2. Be Yourself. Martha needed funding for Girl Rising. She went to Intel and told them her idea and about the tragedies over girls’ lack of access to education and they not only funded the film, they became her support and market–she got 84,000 believers to love and support her through the process by way of their entire employee pool jumping in to help.
3. Take a Stand: Cynthia Kersey was a highly successful corporate executive who went through a painful divorce. Her mentor said, “Find a purpose greater than your pain and you will heal.” She decided on the number 100. 100 houses would be bigger than her pain, so she went on to build 100 houses in Nepal for those in need through Habitat for Humanity and now is devoted to educating all children globally through the Unstoppable Foundation.
4. Engage your Heart:  My heart was broken over the fact that I couldn’t get health insurance for Sage when he was a newborn because birth defects were considered a “pre-existing condition” so I used the ache in my heart to fuel a personal revolution and build a heart-centered business.

I wonder where you can apply these ideas to your own life, today?
Where might you be holding your voice back for fear of what might happen? If you have a situation, think of what Malala went through for courage.
Where can you “Be Yourself” in pursuing an idea and presenting it to a potential funder or supporter the way Martha did with Girl Rising? It was a man at Intel with daughters who took the project on and made it the massive movement it is.
Where can you take a stand and like Cynthia find a “purpose greater than your pain?”
And where can you engage the courage in your heartache to fuel a change or build a dream?

I invite you to think on these and please comment via our Facebook feed, so that I can hear your ideas…I love the conversations we have and I love you.

With Devotion,
Zhena

Dear Reader,

Much of our wisdom is passed down through experiences and are not written. I am sharing some old wisdom in today’s post from which I believe you will gain perspective. Simple tips from a Gypsy woman, a woman who has been so heavy on my mind as the Ukraine goes through turmoil, I can hear her thick Ukrainian accent talking to me as a child, and I want to share with you so you may learn from a woman who impacted my life so greatly, and who instilled a strength in me that has ensured I never gave up in business, creativity, parenting and on love.

I grew up in a Ukrainian household. Grandma Maria was our “Mama” and Grandpa Pietro was “Tata.” Great grandma, Priscia, was simply Ma. Their english wasn’t great, their understanding of American culture bordered on insanity, they put all of our western beliefs and systems into the context of their past. Maria, or Mama, was so superstitious that when a black cat crossed the street, she made us turn around and drive at least 10 blocks away in order to cross, in case the black cat had stepped foot on any of the surrounding streets. If we opened an umbrella in the house, the devil would somehow be invited to dinner (I know), and dreams were the greatest omens, if you told Mama a dream she painstakingly analyzed it for clues to God’s great plan for you or for signs of a pregnancy, marriage or impending doom.

She hid her heritage. Back in the Ukraine, she had been reviled, beaten, starved by the Stalin Regime. A Jewess married a Gypsy and Maria was born, but the racism and hatred seared fear into her and she tucked away her identity, her bloodline, so tidily that only her family and my grandfather knew. When my grandfather found her, she and her family were living under a bridge in Germany. Frightened to come out and ask for water. He brought them water and soon married Maria. He had just survived 5 years in Sachsenhausen concentration camp for being a U.N.O (Ukrainian Nationalist–a guerrilla fighter) and soon he brought her to the US, he had a golden ticket to California for the work he had done on the US’s behalf in the war.

Maria could only hide her bloodline to a degree, her wisdom was unconventional; ideas of the world magical. Faith was the central theme. She prayed nearly every minute of every day. She sent care packages to her sister, Zena, who had remained in Kharkiv. She wrote long, beautiful letters to her and in return got short, blacked out notes on thin paper. She cried over the words that had been censored, but she never gave up on Zena’s well-being, sending monthly packages of flour, boots, scarves, even tea cups.

There is much I learned from Mama, but these three things are rising to the top of my memories as I watch the news about the Ukraine and pray for my family still there.

1. Be Passionate. “No matter what, Zenitska, be passionate. God doesn’t want you to be lukewarm, be either hot or cold but be passionate for what you believe in.”

2. Feed People. “Zenitska, where there is food, there is a home.” Mama fed us nonstop, she baked bread around the clock, she fed neighbors, her congregation, neighborhood cats, birds, all of life could count on a meal from Mama, all they had to do was to show up and she’d present a mouthwatering dish of dumplings, or a plate of sweet bread and homemade jam, from her heart. And of course tea came with it.

3. Look everyone in the eye. So many people look away, or down when speaking. Mama taught us to always look people in the eye, to show our strength and to see the weakness or strength in others through looking at their eyes. This advice is great for business, for marriages, for everyone. It builds bonds or ensures you don’t create bonds with people who cannot look you in the eye.

Where can you use these wisdom teachings in your own life? Where are you being lukewarm where you can be passionate? Where can you feed people and nurture your soul in the process? Where are you avoiding eye contact because of what you might see?

Much of the wisdom from Mama can be found in my upcoming book, Life by the Cup. But there will be more and more seeping through my writing as I develop my own voice, because I am finding that much of my voice is in fact hers.

With Love, and eye contact 🙂
Zhena

Dear Reader,

You might have noticed that I’m launching a book next month (June 17th), which is exactly 34 days from today (wow!). I’ve leapt from the tea and grocery store world to the writing and publishing world–very different! I was a great marketer when I led the tea company, because I was selling a mission to end poverty for tea workers–it was easy to push the envelope every day for such a big cause. But, selling a book I wrote (with the help of a kick-ass village) means I have gone from “selling tea to selling me.” Gulp. Which has been uncomfortable, and has forced me to examine my self-worth, confidence, courage and stamina (or lack thereof). Switching careers at 39 has been invigorating, terrifying, and exhilarating, and for any of you thinking of making a leap, I’m going to share some of my most hard-won tips with you on big transitions and how we can learn to navigate them.

#1 Career as identity: Becoming an author means that I have switched from being a tea purveyor to an idea purveyor. This hasn’t been easy, and I’m sure I’ll be purveying tea again soon, but so much of my identity was stuck in the tea and grocery industry that I felt lost for much of the last year as I pulled back from it and stepped into the realm of publishing. Writing takes total immersion, and as I rewrote my manuscript over and over to perfect it, I also rewrote my self into a new light. I kept a journal through the process and looking back, see how important it was to make the change and how it built up my confidence that I am not my career, I am a woman who has a career and can change it at any time. Repeat after me, “I am not my career,” there, we said it.

#2 Some People Will Never Get Your Worth: As I was transitioning, I was grasping at straws. I wanted the tea company to come begging for me to come back, but they never even called. I wanted someone to arrive in a carriage and sweep me into the realm of safety as if I was waiting for my knight in shining career strategy to guide me and make my career make sense. No one could. My family and friends spent endless nights listening to me weep and wonder how I would go from the known to the unknown. I had always taught them it was safe to take a leap, and yet there I was, tortured over my own leap. I found my true friends through this dark night, and now that my career is clear, and writing has shown itself to me as destiny, I am still holding their hands and loving their generous souls. I realized, as you will, that some people will never get your worth, so stop waiting for them to call and focus on the people who are there with you now. Those that are there are those that care.

#3 Be Compassionate: This sounds very cliche, I know, but it needs to be aimed toward yourself. Being compassionate toward myself has taught me that no matter what happens, no matter where I land, no matter who buys the book or who doesn’t, it will all be perfect as long as I remain compassionate. Compassion cures everything. I use this mantra when I am beating myself up: May I be guided by God’s love, may I be the embodiment of compassion for myself and all sentient beings. Remember that you deserve the same love you give others.

#4 It’s all inspiration: When I was selling the mission of the tea company, I inspired people to join my cause. And now that I am selling a book filled with my lessons, stories and personal rules for success, I am inspiring my readers to live in their potential, love with all their hearts and redefine success for themselves with a pure heart to serve others. As long as I keep my sights on serving the souls and wellbeing of others, I could be selling tea, books, or widgets and it wouldn’t matter- inspiration is inspiration, and that is what we are here for–to inspire one another.

I’m sending you all love and a heartfelt wish that you will be compassionate toward yourself during times of transition, and please let me know if you have any questions, I will gladly answer them in the comment section below.

With Love,
Zhena

A Cup of Tea for Productivity

“A woman is like a tea bag – you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

When you think about all the resources for greater productivity, as a female entrepreneur, tea is probably not the first thing that comes to mind. However, all the benefits a brewed cup can provide, may just surprise you. As Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it, women and tea have something in common… their strength.

When you are massively busy with countless items on your “to-do” list sitting down with a warm cup of tea may sound counterproductive, even ridiculous.  But, taking a few moments to sip and enjoy the aroma brings your mind, body, and spirit back to the present with greater clarity and focus. Quite the accomplishment for a simple cup of tea isn’t it!

More ways tea can help with your productivity:

Boosts Creativity
Enjoying a cup of tea relaxes the body improving circulation and boosting creativity. The polyphenols in some teas have even been shown to help maintain the parts of the brain associated with learning and memory. You may just start seeing opportunities where you did not before.

Mindfulness
When you are stuck without solutions, overwhelmed by all your tasks, taking a few moments to be present and mindful is the best thing you can do. As you practice mindfulness on a daily basis, you become better at being present and managing your time.

Better Sleep
Not a lot increases your productivity, as well as, a good night’s sleep! A warm cup of chamomile, valerian, fennel or hyssop tea serves as an excellent remedy for insomnia. You can drift to sleep peacefully, waking up the next day more refreshed and ready to take on the world!

Tea can hydrate the body, boost your metabolism, and increase endurance. Not only will you accomplish more, but also, thanks to the high antioxidant power, you will look fabulous doing it! Cheers to productivity through a soothing cup!

Welcome to Mindful Mondays with Zhena.TV! Here is a simple tea ritual to start your week off with mindfulness.
http://vimeo.com/93688385

Sending you all love, health and happiness!
Zhena.TV

Dear Reader,

This weekend was the youth festival in Ojai. As I stood in line with my four-year-old, Mia, a few parents approached me to thank me for the tea they drink with an anecdote of how the product gives them joy or made a difference in their life somehow. Amazing. I didn’t expect this, and I marveled at what a contrast it was from the decade ago+ when I was peddling an idea rather than a product, and how rough that was in comparison.

When I was starting the tea company, I felt so alone. Every time people asked what I was doing, and I told them, they would look at me as if I had three eyes and say something along the lines of, “There are a million tea companies, why do that?” or “Gypsies pick-pocketed me once in Europe! Why name a company after them?” or my favorite, “Oh sounds great, you should do that, by the way, the local Carrows is hiring. You should apply…just in case.” I spent a lot of time defending my idea, bolstering my talking points with statistics showing the need for another tea company, and going into a sales mode to convince them that my tea would be different enough to succeed. It took a lot of energy.

It’s harrowing to navigate others’ opinions and I want to give you these 3 tools for helping to bolster your confidence in pursuing your dream.
1. Be enthused, but not overbearing. Here’s what this means: when you are secure in an idea, it doesn’t make you push it on others. It lights a flame in your heart, it adds a lilt to your voice and a spring in your step, but it doesn’t try too hard to convince others of it’s validity. Enthusiasm allows others to see that something is happening for you, yet they are allowed to have opinions too. Being enthused about your new idea should fuel bright conversations, not limit them. Being enthused means that you find opportunities to tell your story and your idea to others, but you don’t overwhelm them. You want to engage and excite others, but also let them have time to talk about what’s going on in their lives, if you don’t give space for your idea to flourish in conversations by giving the other some time to speak, you will lose fans more often than engaging them. Every time you tell your idea to another, take a 4 second breath in afterward to center and allow them the space to speak.

2. When the idea is solid and real, it cannot be threatened. This is from the Course in Miracles: nothing real can be threatened. So many ideas come and go, which is why many people do not believe that yours will see the light of day. When you start sensing doubt in others, it’s a reflection of the doubt you have yourself and that can be a scary thing to see and feel. But, know this: an idea that is meant to be born will be. If you are meant to bring an idea, business or piece of art into the world, you will. So, when others are expressing doubt about your idea, you can repeat this mantra in your head: “Nothing that is real can be threatened, I am guided to bring this idea into the world.”

3. Stories are the Soul.  Because you need buy in, you need to be a story teller. The human psyche relates to stories. We remember stories of valor, courage and miracles. We retell compelling stories we heard through the day at the dinner table. We share stories over tea and coffee and at the office. Stories are your idea’s best friend. Contextualize your idea through a story. In my upcoming book, Life by the Cup, I tell stories to illuminate ideas like: Collaborate to be Great, and Pride Cannot Feed a Baby. The collaboration story is a favorite among early readers, and they remember the idea because the story is relatable. I want my readers to remember these powerful life lessons, but I do not expect them to remember them without a story to speak to their hearts. All brands out in the world are working hard to tell stories via social media, ads, charitable efforts–but very few have stories that will be remembered for long because they are thought up in a creative meeting, they weren’t born of an individual’s truest experience of life. The reason the tea company got onto the shelves of thousands of stores nationwide was because we were “ending poverty for tea workers” not because we were selling tea. Look at the elements BEHIND your idea, how it came to you, what it means to the world, and how it will impact the listener. Telling stories will get you further than peddling an idea when it comes to naysayers. Tell them a story that speaks to their heart and watch them turn from naysayer to supporter.

In conclusion, if you can clarify and master these understandings about your idea, you will have a much better time navigating the negative. And one final tip, you can neutralize any negativity by having compassion, for the person who is being negative is probably scared of failure for you and themselves. Know that by holding them in compassion, you will have more confidence to make the impossible possible.

Here’s to your dreams, my friend, I look forward to hearing how you deal with naysayers in the comments section below.

In Service,
Zhena
Zhena@Zhena.TV

Dear Reader,

I got really busy in business. And yet, as I look back to the busy days of being a CEO at a consumer packaged goods company (Zhena’s Gypsy Tea), I see just how sacred all of the learnings were. And I also have perspective as I reread Neale Donald Walsh’s Conversations with God book. Business and God usually don’t get written about in one place, but for me business is an act of sacred grace, and so here I will explore three of the biggest spiritual lessons of business and God.

Many of the great teachings I learned are in my upcoming book: Life by the Cup, and many are yet to come in the next book: Business by the Cup. Here, I will share three of the learnings with you that are not yet in the books.

1. Be the Gift. 
In business, we often interview potential employees, make sales presentations to prospective clients, and view people’s time as resources that we must maximize to “win” at the game of business. We look at what we can take to “the bottom line.” Business at it’s best is about giving value and exchanging it for financial reward. All is well and good, but there’s a different way to see this aspect of business. It’s to shift from get to gift. What that means is this: Instead of looking at what others can give you, or less consciously what you can “get” from others, shift into gift thinking. As Neale Donald Walsh writes, “When someone enters your life unexpectedly, look for the gift that person has come to receive from you.” Now, that’s a big idea and it came through to Neale as he was having a Conversation with God, but think about it. If you approached hiring, attracting clients, and maximizing others’ talents from what you can gift to them rather than what you can get from them, it would be a massive paradigm shift in the way we go about running and growing businesses. So, next time you are approaching a “get” in your business ask yourself this, “What is the gift this person is here to receive from me?” See what happens.

2. Nothing but Angels.
Neale received the following teaching also in his Conversations with God book: “I have sent you nothing but angels.” This is a doozy. Think about any and all negative interactions you have had with competitors, regulators, bankers, customers who wouldn’t pay–anyone or thing that perceptibly did you wrong. Now, imagine that God sent them to you as an angel, which is what Neale is writing, “I have sent you nothing but angels.” What you may have perceived as a bad person or negative experience was simply an angel helping you unveil something hidden or to change course.

Holding resentment or regrets is useless, a waste of your precious time and life force, because there was nothing that happened that shouldn’t have. Angels came, you clashed, things changed, and that was the point of the interaction or situation. Reframe any and all people who played the role of protagonist in your life as an angel and see what happens. (I REALLY would love to hear/read your comments on this one!)

Now, I confess, there were a lot of people who came into my life as angels. Early investors, supportive customers, loving and dedicated employees, suppliers who I cherish always and forever. And yet, there were those who pushed my back against a wall. Customers who never paid and put my company in peril. Vendors who raised prices during high season and devoured our profits. Buyers who promised big purchase orders who never actually ordered and left us with massive amounts of inventory and no where to go with it. So many things that happened at the hands of…angels?

I’ll tell you, this is a hard one for me, but now as I get further and further from the running of the company and more and more into the teaching of how to run one with love and integrity, I can see that the people and situations that perceptibly hurt me and my business were teaching me the lessons of self-preservation, discernment, and making meticulous agreements. For a woman who wanted more than anything to please others, these are lessons in survival. They are tough but real ways to see that the world isn’t black and white, and that the shades of gray can cost you a dream if you don’t know how to navigate them correctly. Being over-trusting is something many women face when starting or growing a business. And now, with all of those lessons under my belt, I can help women avoid the same mistakes. Angels came to me and taught me hard lessons, and those lessons are now a resource to save others time, money and heartache–it’s an almost shamanic experience. And now as an author, facilitator and women’s business coach/advisor, there is no way I couldn’t have learned these lessons and still be the resource for others in the way I am now. Hard lesson, big bad angels, all perfect.

I’d like you to think about a negative experience or person from your past that you are still pained about. See what this person/situation would look like if it was an angel. What is the lesson that angel came to bring you? What can you do with that lesson now and how can you use it as a gift to others? (I’d love to hear this in the comments below!!!)

3. “Belief creates behaviors,” -Neale Donald Walsh
In this new paradigm of business, where there is no separation between home and work, where we are digitally attached to all things at all times, and where business must go from taking from nature to healing nature, we need to deeply reflect on our beliefs about success, and what we identify as a business’s success. For many, the dollars in the bank are the only way to see if a business is successful, its the paradigm that “numbers don’t lie.” But, what if they did? What if beliefs about money and numbers were causing us to measure success in old, false ways?

Stay with me. The basic point of a business is to make a profit. We get that, but, what if those profits were measured by the positive impact it had on the world versus the amount of wealth the C-suite and investors acquire? What if the new bottom line was how a business ended poverty for tea workers (the way mine did) or, how many trees it planted (Guayaki yerba mate), or how many lives it touched by providing shoes and glasses (Tom’s). What if we changed the value system, the belief, that money is the only means to the success of a business. What if a business acted as an advocate to end the use of chemical pesticides and influenced millions of people to think about the peril of pesticides for the first time? Say they had a red bottom line–would that business deserve to go under, or would that business deserve more time to make it’s way to the black?

How are our beliefs making it possible for businesses to take and take from the earth and undermine the well-being of workers, to make a profit for a few shareholders? Why do we believe that those companies are successful? How are our collective and individual beliefs holding that old paradigm and its outdated, hurtful behaviors, above the law and on a pedestal of awe? Here’s how: we still believe that money, a human invention, is more powerful than what is good and right. We applaud high profits and quarterly earnings and until that belief is changed to how a company serves and heals the world, we won’t have sustainability and safety. We won’t have equal rights or pay. Our beliefs about the power money has over the sacred and natural world are shaping the behaviors of the companies who stay at the top.

We are in a very tenuous time in the business world where we have to look at more than the bottom line, we have to look at business as a means to heal and change the world, which might mean a lack of profits for awhile. It might mean that money and the means of accumulation for the few needs to be reconsidered. Values in business have to shift and a conversation has to be had in order for us to create a sustainable paradigm shift. If we are pushing our old beliefs that business is to make us wealthy rather than nurture and serve the world, then we may never make the leap into the new paradigm of business. Businesses must and are tasked with the job that individuals and governments cannot do–make a new paradigm of value, see profits in things other than dollars, and nurture and fix the world’s woes through selfless service to others. Business is the one thing that can make vast sweeping, visionary changes because it isn’t based on divisive things like religion and politics. But, our idea of business and the more dollar-profitable the better, needs to shift for our behaviors to shift.

I’d love to hear your beliefs about business. How do your beliefs about success and business shape your behaviors in how you run and grow yours?

I know this is a lot to swallow, and I thank Neale Donald Walsh for his service to us through his books. I am reading them again now and will reflect more on how spirituality and business can be combined to lead us to heal and change the world through business.

Many thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing from you in the comments section below.

With Love,
Zhena
Zhena@Zhena.TV

Dear Reader,

I learned dozens of very valuable lessons by writing Life by the Cup, but none were as powerful as the lesson of surrender. I was led on a journey of discovery through the act of sitting each day to write, and if you have a desire to write a book like 80% of the US population, read on.

I’d wanted to write a book since I was six. I was never able to articulate why exactly, except that I had a burning desire to tell stories, to take poetic journeys in the world of my imagination and to forge a pathway for my reader to explore a new, nuanced, transformational world. I wrote a book about my Ukrainian Gypsy grandmother, but never got past the second draft when I found out I was pregnant with Sage, and needed to provide for him, eventually creating a company to support us. I tinkered with words throughout my career at the tea company, but never put them in the form of a cohesive creative piece since I was too busy writing business plans and being a single mom juggling baby and business. Creative writing felt indulgent, like a reward I could have only after achieving the endless list of financial milestones.

At the tea company, I indulged in writing copy for the packaging, composed elaborate sales brochure copy, stole away to my office to write humorous letters to potential customers, spent hours crafting press releases, and honed investor presentations to raise capital. Looking back, I was developing my creative craft through my very pragmatic tea-for-grocery-store business. And while the idea of writing a full length, creative project persisted, somehow, I thought it would be selfish to take the time from “working” to write anything more than the needed materials for the business. Deep down, I couldn’t think of a soul who would want to read what I had to say. I doubted my skill. I believed that writing was a hobby but not a career. I kept a daily journal instead of reaching for my dream, but my heart kept leading me back to the idea of a book. The persistence of this dream wore me down and I found my fear and resistance no match for it.

As soon as we hired a CEO for the tea company, I began to write The Modern Gypsy’s Guide to Life, a book about the Gypsy culture and what we as modern women can learn from it. I wrote and wrote and wrote. Covering thousands of pages with letters, words, ideas, and yet it never formed into book, instead, I ended up writing stories of my experiences in the global tea market. The book had gotten away from me. It had it’s own plan. Although I felt the Gypsy book was more interesting than my own experience, I found myself leaning into my memories more and more. I never wanted to write a memoir so I denied these stories, cutting them from the drafts, and yet the exotic flavors, stunning landscapes and soulful tea people kept ending up on the page. I wrestled the ideas back to the Gypsy book outline and yet what was forming was a tea book. A memoir!? I landed one of the top literary agents in the world and sent her draft after draft of this messy Gypsy meets tea entrepreneur book, but none of it was quite right. She stopped responding to my emails and I felt like a loser for a little while.

So, I let it all go. I cut out the Gypsy aspects of the book and just started to write stories of my life, the ones that appeared were the ones I honored. I never thought they were all that interesting until I began reading them to my friends and they wanted more, they saw their own lives in the stories of mine. I decided to self-publish, let go of the agent (admittedly, she had let me go already), and I gave up the idea that I had to write the Gypsy book since the tea book was pushing its way onto the page. I was exhausted by the process and surrendered to what was forming on the page. It was much different than business, where you write a plan and do your best to follow it. Writing was proving to be an unruly little beast of a process, it was teaching me that I wasn’t in control, damn!

From the act of writing daily, the new book emerged, the one whose lovely cover is featured on this blog–Life by the Cup. Through writing, the format of the chapters to be in “cup” form emerged. I became an explorer instead of a dictator as each day led to more clues of the book’s highest good, these clues sparkled and I chased them for hours until sentences formed into cohesive, transformative vignettes. My memories were filled with emotional land mines, but as I tripped each one, I survived and healed.

My heart was raw as I wrote about Sage’s past health issues, as much as I didn’t want to relive the trauma and revisit his unspeakable pain, I was forced to. I exposed my mistakes, worries and greatest fears on the page, and through that I triumphed over them. Writing as an act of surrender heals us. Those first drafts were cathartic for me, but selfish in many ways. As I was healing on the page, I realized it wasn’t for anyone but me. I had to move through my pain to become a teacher of it. Draft after draft, I cried, remembering. When the tears stopped, it was time to do another rewrite, and finally I was able to use the past as a light for others’ journeys. I shifted from writing for me, to writing for a reader– which was another form of surrender. As tempting as it was to tuck the draft away and hide behind my business instead, I was driven to complete the mission. Because I could see other books wanting to be written just past this one. I was in an orchard of ripened fruit, all of the books to be written were before me like a spring harvest and I knew that if I couldn’t pick and complete one, I wouldn’t complete any.

One day, when I thought the book would never make the finish line, I called Deb Norton and begged for her help. She became the midwife of each story and helped me speak to the readers I hoped to serve. I hired a second editor and we copyedited the whole manuscript and signed up on Amazon’s Createspace to self publish. I set a hard deadline of a Friday one month from then and each morning showed up in my writing studio (yurt) with sweaty palms. Exposing my inner soul to the public terrified me. There are two forms of writing, one for private self reflection and one for public self expression. Both are transformative, but one forces you to publish and make your vulnerable, tender, frightened self known. My fears wouldn’t be beat if I hid behind the, it was non-negotiable, I would click the self publish button and move into the fear, knowing the only way to get over it is to move through it.

A couple of days before I would click the button, an editor from Atria (Simon and Schuster) called and in her sweet Australian accent said my book had made her laugh and cry, and she could see it in a beautifully designed hardcover in stores all over the nation. I was stunned. I paced the parking lot outside of my favorite Mexican eatery in Ojai and found myself pirouetting off of the curbs, spinning on a tip toe and jumping around silently as I tried to act calm through the call. Again, this wasn’t what I had planned, but I was getting better at moving with the muse rather than trying to get her to predict next year’s P&L. I surrendered again and spent almost a year in rewrites, design and production on the book that will be out soon. The lesson again as it gets ready to go out into the world this June will be, you guessed it, surrender.

And now you have the secret. Surrender to your writing, your dream, your business, whatever your heart drives you to do. Remember, my friend, the best laid plans are those you are willing to release.

With Love,

Zhena